AWS outage
Oct. 20th, 2025 10:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alierak posting in ![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png){kind=small}
dw_maintenanceDW is seeing some issues due to today's Amazon outage. For right now it looks like the site is loading, but it may be slow. Some of our processes like notifications and journal search don't appear to be running and can't be started due to rate limiting or capacity issues. DW could go down later if Amazon isn't able to improve things soon, but our services should return to normal when Amazon has cleared up the outage.
Edit: all services are running as of 16:12 CDT, but there is definitely still a backlog of notifications to get through.
Edit 2: and at 18:20 CDT everything's been running normally for about the last hour.
Edit: all services are running as of 16:12 CDT, but there is definitely still a backlog of notifications to get through.
Edit 2: and at 18:20 CDT everything's been running normally for about the last hour.
Bright Side: I Fired the Nanny to Protect My Granddaughter—Now My DIL Banned Me
Oct. 17th, 2025 11:26 am
Learning to see the puzzle in everything. They're everywhere.
Oct. 16th, 2025 12:03 amkoreOkay so, we're watching Elementary for fun and really enjoying it. LOVE Joan, Sherlock is lolarious, really like the supporting cast Captain DILF and Detective Hottie. (I do wish there were more women, tho -- I really liked the glimpses we get of Joan's mother and shrink.) The show does suffer some from the 22-ep-long procedural's problem of The Guest Star Is the Killer, but the writing is still creative and characters remember what happened from episode to episode! I know a lot of you have watched it, so, question:
Are there any episodes or seasons we might want to skip to keep enjoying the show? I'm thinking of episodes like Seeing Red (Buffy), that horrible Fringe episode, some of the worse late X-Files episodes, and so on. We might possibly watch them anyway, lol, I just don't want to be blindsided. (For example I think we skipped that horrible episode of Fringe entirely because I knew so many people who turned completely against the show after it, and it took me personally a LONG time to get over some of the X-Files crap.)
(Also: ride or die BUT also noromo for both Mulder/Scully and Joan/Sherlock, lol)
Are there any episodes or seasons we might want to skip to keep enjoying the show? I'm thinking of episodes like Seeing Red (Buffy), that horrible Fringe episode, some of the worse late X-Files episodes, and so on. We might possibly watch them anyway, lol, I just don't want to be blindsided. (For example I think we skipped that horrible episode of Fringe entirely because I knew so many people who turned completely against the show after it, and it took me personally a LONG time to get over some of the X-Files crap.)
(Also: ride or die BUT also noromo for both Mulder/Scully and Joan/Sherlock, lol)
shoes for an offering
Oct. 15th, 2025 06:36 pmasakiyumewakanomori ran in the Cape Cod Marathon over the weekend--in the teeth of an approaching nor'easter! While he was slogging it out, I wandered the coast, nibbling rose hips and admiring plants like this one, with soft, enticing seed heads. I found out it's called "groundsel bush," also sea-myrtle or saltbush (Baccharis halimifolia)
These patent leather shoes grabbed my attention, tucked just so on the other side of the wall separating the beach from the sidewalk. No one was walking barefoot on the beach except gulls and cormorants.
They look like shiny eggs in a nest.
Or like an offering. In The Snow Queen, Gerda gives her new red shoes to the river, believing that the river has taken her playmate Kay, and that by offering the river her shoes, she can induce it to give him back. But the river hasn't taken Kay.
These black shoes aren't near enough to the ocean to really count as an offering to the waves or tide, I don't think.
So if they're an offering, to or for whom?
Or maybe someone just doesn't like their patent leather shoes and has left them for someone else to claim.
Tags:
Two letters to Carolyn about terrible parents
Oct. 15th, 2025 01:48 pmconuly posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
agonyaunt1. Hi, Carolyn: I grew up in a very image-conscious family. I’ve always been “bigger,” which bothered my parents a lot. They were always on my case to lose weight, although it wasn’t having health impacts and I don’t have issues with physical fitness. Now that Ozempic is a thing, they have been dropping hints about that, too. I’ve tried gently having conversations about how their comments are hurtful, but they — especially my mom — get hostile and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. (They aren’t great at emotional discussions.)
I love myself generally and think I’m a cool person. But I’m in my early 30s, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I really don’t get romantic attention. I’ve been on a handful of dates from apps. This is hard. I naturally wonder whether my weight is the problem. But I can’t bear the idea that my parents were right this whole time, and I don’t want to hear the inevitable I-told-you-so’s if I do end up trying Ozempic.
I know a reasoned conversation isn’t going to stop them. And I know internally it’s going to kill me if I lose weight and start getting more attention; were they right and I was really that ugly this entire time? I have no idea how to wrap my mind around this problem. I’ve had a string of really unhelpful therapists, generally saying, “You’re not ugly, but you need years of therapy to heal ALL your childhood trauma and then maybe you’ll be able to find a relationship!” and I need a break from that.
Do you have any advice?
( Read more... )
************
2. Dear Carolyn: My sister and I had a really difficult childhood, but she definitely had it tougher than I did. For very good reasons, she severed all ties with our mom over 20 years ago, and, based on the way things happened, her daughters also chose to sever all ties with their grandmother.
My sister and I also were estranged for many years, but about six years ago, we rebuilt our relationship from the ground up and we are the best of friends now. That is, until Mom died a few weeks ago. My mom left her home and its contents to me. She was very clear on her wishes that I sell the home and split the money between my two children. It will be a significant amount of money. She left my sister a third of all remaining assets, which are minimal.
My sister is livid about the terms of the will, feeling like it was just another way to send her a message that she didn’t matter to our mom. I don’t know what Mom was thinking. If memory serves, she didn’t want to leave my sister entirely out of the will, but this has actually turned out to be worse.
This whole legal journey through probate is going to just keep taking my sister back to a past with ugly memories and lots of pain. How do I navigate this and keep my relationship with her? Do I reconsider how to allocate the money from the house to make things more fair — but go against my mom’s specific wishes?
( Read more... )
I love myself generally and think I’m a cool person. But I’m in my early 30s, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I really don’t get romantic attention. I’ve been on a handful of dates from apps. This is hard. I naturally wonder whether my weight is the problem. But I can’t bear the idea that my parents were right this whole time, and I don’t want to hear the inevitable I-told-you-so’s if I do end up trying Ozempic.
I know a reasoned conversation isn’t going to stop them. And I know internally it’s going to kill me if I lose weight and start getting more attention; were they right and I was really that ugly this entire time? I have no idea how to wrap my mind around this problem. I’ve had a string of really unhelpful therapists, generally saying, “You’re not ugly, but you need years of therapy to heal ALL your childhood trauma and then maybe you’ll be able to find a relationship!” and I need a break from that.
Do you have any advice?
( Read more... )
2. Dear Carolyn: My sister and I had a really difficult childhood, but she definitely had it tougher than I did. For very good reasons, she severed all ties with our mom over 20 years ago, and, based on the way things happened, her daughters also chose to sever all ties with their grandmother.
My sister and I also were estranged for many years, but about six years ago, we rebuilt our relationship from the ground up and we are the best of friends now. That is, until Mom died a few weeks ago. My mom left her home and its contents to me. She was very clear on her wishes that I sell the home and split the money between my two children. It will be a significant amount of money. She left my sister a third of all remaining assets, which are minimal.
My sister is livid about the terms of the will, feeling like it was just another way to send her a message that she didn’t matter to our mom. I don’t know what Mom was thinking. If memory serves, she didn’t want to leave my sister entirely out of the will, but this has actually turned out to be worse.
This whole legal journey through probate is going to just keep taking my sister back to a past with ugly memories and lots of pain. How do I navigate this and keep my relationship with her? Do I reconsider how to allocate the money from the house to make things more fair — but go against my mom’s specific wishes?
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Oct. 14th, 2025 01:51 pmconuly posting in agonyauntDEAR MISS MANNERS: I have now been to three weddings where I found out that the couple was already married, and just going through the motions.
The first was a couple who had gotten legally married weeks prior to the wedding so he could go on her health insurance.
The second was an older couple who said they’d never had a “real wedding.” That made me think they hadn’t really been married all along, but it turns out they had been; they just hadn’t had the kind of event they’d wanted.
The last one, which sent me over the brink, was our college friends. Since our larger friend group is now spread out in different cities, this couple traveled around, repeating the wedding ceremony to “save people the expense of traveling.”
My mother asks me why I care if people want to make fools of themselves, and why I can’t just “be nice” and celebrate with my friends. The answer is because I’m expected to go along with this farce and play the Wedding Guest: dressing up, sitting through it all, congratulating them, and -- here’s the main part -- spending serious money to buy them something from their registry list.
In fact, I’m expected to do all of the above many times over, if I go to their pre-wedding (but post-marriage!) parties, which I try to avoid. Am I right or wrong?
( Read more... )
The first was a couple who had gotten legally married weeks prior to the wedding so he could go on her health insurance.
The second was an older couple who said they’d never had a “real wedding.” That made me think they hadn’t really been married all along, but it turns out they had been; they just hadn’t had the kind of event they’d wanted.
The last one, which sent me over the brink, was our college friends. Since our larger friend group is now spread out in different cities, this couple traveled around, repeating the wedding ceremony to “save people the expense of traveling.”
My mother asks me why I care if people want to make fools of themselves, and why I can’t just “be nice” and celebrate with my friends. The answer is because I’m expected to go along with this farce and play the Wedding Guest: dressing up, sitting through it all, congratulating them, and -- here’s the main part -- spending serious money to buy them something from their registry list.
In fact, I’m expected to do all of the above many times over, if I go to their pre-wedding (but post-marriage!) parties, which I try to avoid. Am I right or wrong?
( Read more... )
ok, it's at least ironic
Oct. 13th, 2025 09:29 pmjulianSo a week before we move is a *great* time to have the fire alarms go off, credibly. (That is, all of them at once, ours and the upstairs neighbors', going off at once, which is probably required in the fire code by now but isn't how I'm used to them behaving.) I checked in with the upstairs guy, and neither of us saw smoke or anything likely to cause anything dangerous, but Calluna and I nonetheless got the cat into the carrier and go bag and purses outside, Just In Case. And called 911.
The fire guys (who have a fire station about 3 blocks from us so we get a hell of a lot of Fire Truck Noise) arrived just as the upstairs guy was solving the problem by starting to take down the smoke detectors, one by one. First one he tried was the relevant issue, which makes sense given as it was date-stamped 2007. (...yes.)
Lessons taken from this: a) I don't think the upstairs guy had the right approach to the problem -- that is, I think the fire guys should do that kind of conclusion making, and b) I need to do some practicing for an actual fire, clearly, because I dithered too much. Since I want to make sure we have reasonable fire exits in our upcoming basement (that's easy, there's huge windows that open and you can just crawl out) and the upcoming 2nd floor (not sure there), that'll just fold into the consideration.
Anyway, not to bury the lede, but we bought a house in Pepperell (on the border of NH, as opposed to where we are now on the border of RI), it's cool, we're having the movers next Monday, will quite likely have to do a smallish truck (or van) the weekend after for remaining stuff, dislike packing vociferously, but! we can finally get the Stuff From Storage from when we stuck it there like 5 years ago.
More about this soon, or, as is more likely given me, more much later.
The fire guys (who have a fire station about 3 blocks from us so we get a hell of a lot of Fire Truck Noise) arrived just as the upstairs guy was solving the problem by starting to take down the smoke detectors, one by one. First one he tried was the relevant issue, which makes sense given as it was date-stamped 2007. (...yes.)
Lessons taken from this: a) I don't think the upstairs guy had the right approach to the problem -- that is, I think the fire guys should do that kind of conclusion making, and b) I need to do some practicing for an actual fire, clearly, because I dithered too much. Since I want to make sure we have reasonable fire exits in our upcoming basement (that's easy, there's huge windows that open and you can just crawl out) and the upcoming 2nd floor (not sure there), that'll just fold into the consideration.
Anyway, not to bury the lede, but we bought a house in Pepperell (on the border of NH, as opposed to where we are now on the border of RI), it's cool, we're having the movers next Monday, will quite likely have to do a smallish truck (or van) the weekend after for remaining stuff, dislike packing vociferously, but! we can finally get the Stuff From Storage from when we stuck it there like 5 years ago.
More about this soon, or, as is more likely given me, more much later.