Four letters to Carolyn, with no particular theme
1. Dear Carolyn: My fiancé and I got engaged on Jan. 1, 2024 — so, almost two years ago — and then my sister and her fiancé got engaged this past summer. For a whole host of reasons, my fiancé and I have not gotten far at all in the wedding planning, but my sister and hers set a date and booked a venue pretty quickly — for the first weekend in July.
Recently, my fiancé sighted a local, family-owned venue and has started saying he wants to get married there in mid-June, around our anniversary and after school lets out because there are kids in our families we want to be there. If we did that, then it would be back-to-back weddings, which I — I cannot stress this enough — do NOT think is a great idea.
My sister and I have very overlapping guest lists, for one thing. Plus, I will be in her wedding (and hopefully she in mine), and I think we would each like to be able to focus on that without worrying about the details of another big event around the same time. Also, we are from a close family, and it just feels like squeezing too much juice out of one summer. Our mom is not super healthy, and I know she wants to be there for both of us.
I would strongly prefer to postpone our wedding until perhaps next spring, and honestly since we (especially my fiancé) have dragged our feet this much so far, there doesn’t feel like much of a hurry anymore. My fiancé is upset by this and says it feels like I’m letting my sister delay our marriage. Am I being obtuse by thinking we should get married a few months later than he wants to? We have been together for almost eight years, if it matters!
— Sister
( Read more... )
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2. Dear Carolyn: How do you navigate co-parenting a teen who is wicked smart but seemingly without motivation? My 17-year-old junior signed up for four AP classes this year, even after a good conversation about the amount of work they are and his not-great track record of turning in schoolwork. He thought he could handle it.
Here we are at the second quarter, and lo and behold, he’s struggling to keep up. I’m not in I-told-you-so mode, I promise! I am trying to be collaborative, asking how we can handle things here at my house to make it easier for him to focus (should probably mention ADHD). Those conversations always feel productive in terms of treating each other with respect, but … less effective at actually getting work done.
I am solidly of the opinion that, within reason, he should reap both the rewards AND the consequences of his decisions, and if an F is the consequence of not doing the work, well. His dad is much more aggressive at his house, and frequently my son comes back to me after a row with his dad over his lackluster performance.
Dad and I manage decently well at co-parenting except for this one area. I feel like Dad is worried more how all this reflects on HIM and not as interested in who his child really is. I can relate to my kid’s struggles, having had similar problems — and also possibly being neurodivergent, too — but Dad thinks if he just lectures enough, it will finally sink in.
My son can completely articulate what will happen if he fails a class and what will happen to his college and job prospects if his GPA tanks. What’s the point of repeating it ad nauseam? I am also trying to be a safe place, but his dad thinks I’m doing absolutely nothing. I’m fine telling Dad to stuff it about the “nothing” I’m doing, because I’ve been advocating hard for my kid since kindergarten — but any thoughts on navigating this? I use what few levers I have to encourage getting the work done, but he’s 17, and I can’t exactly tie him to a chair.
— Co-Parent of an Unmotivated Teen
( Read more... )
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3. Dear Carolyn: I have always found the holidays to be a massive pain in the neck, and I have little interest in participating. This is not a new thing; I’m 30, and I’ve always felt that way. Like Scrooge, I’ve always been happy to let others keep Christmas in their way and for me to not keep it in mine.
Two years ago, I was married. Our engagement happened over a Christmas season, so my wife was well aware before she married me that I’m not the Christmas type.
Well, you guessed it, she is insistent that I help pick out and decorate a tree, put up Christmas decorations, attend holiday events, and buy a bunch of Christmas gifts. I’ve told her point-blank that I will not do it. I’ve told her SHE is welcome to buy and decorate as many trees as she wants, but I’m not helping with it. This has led to a couple of arguments, tears and claims that I’m selfish. She’s not speaking to me after I told her yesterday that I wasn’t planning to be home for the big party she’s planning to throw.
To me, Christmas is like religion: Practice it if you want, but don’t nag other people to practice it with you, and don’t try to change people who are (or were) happy with their lives as they are. So who’s right here?
— Scrooge
( Read more... )
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4. Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, my in-laws asked me and my husband if we wanted them to help us buy a house. They had asked before and we said no, but at this point we were ready to start building community roots, so we said yes please. With their help, we bought a house we love(d), a cozy four-bedroom house in a progressive suburb.
On a visit a few months later, my mother-in-law tutted over the two bedrooms we turned into our offices, commenting that “it will be hard to repurpose these for babies when it’s time.” At no point have we ever indicated that we plan to have children, and in fact we do not plan to, which we had to tell her then.
Carolyn, she was so upset that it was shocking. Though my father-in-law helped defuse, she bawled violently at this news and informed us that she felt like she had bought us a house under false pretenses. She eventually collected herself but was subdued for the rest of the planned visit, another day and a half.
It has been about 18 months since then, and our relationship is now chilly. I feel uncomfortable inviting them to our home because now I feel like they think we don’t deserve it. I find it hurtful to know they wanted us to have a nice house not so that we could enjoy our own lives, but to enrich their grandchildren. And at some level, I feel like we stole from them, even though it’s ridiculous.
Every week, I tell my husband I think we should sell the house, give them some of the proceeds and go back to apartment living. He says I’m nuts and to ignore his mom’s dramatics. But did we do something wrong here?
— Hurt
( Read more... )
Recently, my fiancé sighted a local, family-owned venue and has started saying he wants to get married there in mid-June, around our anniversary and after school lets out because there are kids in our families we want to be there. If we did that, then it would be back-to-back weddings, which I — I cannot stress this enough — do NOT think is a great idea.
My sister and I have very overlapping guest lists, for one thing. Plus, I will be in her wedding (and hopefully she in mine), and I think we would each like to be able to focus on that without worrying about the details of another big event around the same time. Also, we are from a close family, and it just feels like squeezing too much juice out of one summer. Our mom is not super healthy, and I know she wants to be there for both of us.
I would strongly prefer to postpone our wedding until perhaps next spring, and honestly since we (especially my fiancé) have dragged our feet this much so far, there doesn’t feel like much of a hurry anymore. My fiancé is upset by this and says it feels like I’m letting my sister delay our marriage. Am I being obtuse by thinking we should get married a few months later than he wants to? We have been together for almost eight years, if it matters!
— Sister
( Read more... )2. Dear Carolyn: How do you navigate co-parenting a teen who is wicked smart but seemingly without motivation? My 17-year-old junior signed up for four AP classes this year, even after a good conversation about the amount of work they are and his not-great track record of turning in schoolwork. He thought he could handle it.
Here we are at the second quarter, and lo and behold, he’s struggling to keep up. I’m not in I-told-you-so mode, I promise! I am trying to be collaborative, asking how we can handle things here at my house to make it easier for him to focus (should probably mention ADHD). Those conversations always feel productive in terms of treating each other with respect, but … less effective at actually getting work done.
I am solidly of the opinion that, within reason, he should reap both the rewards AND the consequences of his decisions, and if an F is the consequence of not doing the work, well. His dad is much more aggressive at his house, and frequently my son comes back to me after a row with his dad over his lackluster performance.
Dad and I manage decently well at co-parenting except for this one area. I feel like Dad is worried more how all this reflects on HIM and not as interested in who his child really is. I can relate to my kid’s struggles, having had similar problems — and also possibly being neurodivergent, too — but Dad thinks if he just lectures enough, it will finally sink in.
My son can completely articulate what will happen if he fails a class and what will happen to his college and job prospects if his GPA tanks. What’s the point of repeating it ad nauseam? I am also trying to be a safe place, but his dad thinks I’m doing absolutely nothing. I’m fine telling Dad to stuff it about the “nothing” I’m doing, because I’ve been advocating hard for my kid since kindergarten — but any thoughts on navigating this? I use what few levers I have to encourage getting the work done, but he’s 17, and I can’t exactly tie him to a chair.
— Co-Parent of an Unmotivated Teen
( Read more... )3. Dear Carolyn: I have always found the holidays to be a massive pain in the neck, and I have little interest in participating. This is not a new thing; I’m 30, and I’ve always felt that way. Like Scrooge, I’ve always been happy to let others keep Christmas in their way and for me to not keep it in mine.
Two years ago, I was married. Our engagement happened over a Christmas season, so my wife was well aware before she married me that I’m not the Christmas type.
Well, you guessed it, she is insistent that I help pick out and decorate a tree, put up Christmas decorations, attend holiday events, and buy a bunch of Christmas gifts. I’ve told her point-blank that I will not do it. I’ve told her SHE is welcome to buy and decorate as many trees as she wants, but I’m not helping with it. This has led to a couple of arguments, tears and claims that I’m selfish. She’s not speaking to me after I told her yesterday that I wasn’t planning to be home for the big party she’s planning to throw.
To me, Christmas is like religion: Practice it if you want, but don’t nag other people to practice it with you, and don’t try to change people who are (or were) happy with their lives as they are. So who’s right here?
— Scrooge
( Read more... )4. Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, my in-laws asked me and my husband if we wanted them to help us buy a house. They had asked before and we said no, but at this point we were ready to start building community roots, so we said yes please. With their help, we bought a house we love(d), a cozy four-bedroom house in a progressive suburb.
On a visit a few months later, my mother-in-law tutted over the two bedrooms we turned into our offices, commenting that “it will be hard to repurpose these for babies when it’s time.” At no point have we ever indicated that we plan to have children, and in fact we do not plan to, which we had to tell her then.
Carolyn, she was so upset that it was shocking. Though my father-in-law helped defuse, she bawled violently at this news and informed us that she felt like she had bought us a house under false pretenses. She eventually collected herself but was subdued for the rest of the planned visit, another day and a half.
It has been about 18 months since then, and our relationship is now chilly. I feel uncomfortable inviting them to our home because now I feel like they think we don’t deserve it. I find it hurtful to know they wanted us to have a nice house not so that we could enjoy our own lives, but to enrich their grandchildren. And at some level, I feel like we stole from them, even though it’s ridiculous.
Every week, I tell my husband I think we should sell the house, give them some of the proceeds and go back to apartment living. He says I’m nuts and to ignore his mom’s dramatics. But did we do something wrong here?
— Hurt
( Read more... )LW is, indeed, the biggest of the buzzkills
Our 6-year-old is about to lose her first baby tooth, and my wife wants her to put it under her pillow and do the whole Tooth Fairy routine. I think this is idiotic. When I said so, my wife called me a killjoy and accused me of ruining a “sacred rite of childhood.” It’s 2025, and I’m pretty sure even little kids don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy anymore. Do I really have to play along with this?
—Dad Living In Reality
( Read more... )
—Dad Living In Reality
( Read more... )
asakiyume (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
asakiyume) wrote2025-11-30 09:36 am
asakiyume) wrote2025-11-30 09:36 amEntry tags:
update
I don't like to go longer than a week without posting, but I just did! So this is me waving hello. The reason for the absence is family stuff: my dad is finally moving somewhat closer to me (and very close to my younger brother), plus the Tall One has also been moving. Stressful and time consuming.
Thanksgiving included a clogged main pipe out of my dad's (soon to be former) house, where we'd gathered for the day. This necessitated an emergency plumber! Plus there were some shenanigans with the turkey roaster that delayed the turkey. "It's our toilet-less, turkey-less Thanksgiving," joked Little Springtime. But in the end the emergency plumber fixed the clog and the turkey finished cooking, and people's spirits remained relatively high, so it can be categorized as a Fun Tale of Obstacles Overcome rather than A Horrible Time. (It became that once we knew a plumber was coming. Hero of the story: the plumber.)
Wakanomori brought an Edo-period board game that he'd put together from images available online, and we played it. It's Genji Monogatari-themed: you march around the board and land on different chapters from the Tale of Genji, and each square comes with a poem--not from the Tale of Genji but from the makers of the game. Plus gorgeous ink paintings. Very aesthetic and allowed for a good review of the happenings of the story--or introduction to them, for several people present. (Not sure if anyone's read it from beginning to end. Maybe Wakanomori has.)
Thanksgiving included a clogged main pipe out of my dad's (soon to be former) house, where we'd gathered for the day. This necessitated an emergency plumber! Plus there were some shenanigans with the turkey roaster that delayed the turkey. "It's our toilet-less, turkey-less Thanksgiving," joked Little Springtime. But in the end the emergency plumber fixed the clog and the turkey finished cooking, and people's spirits remained relatively high, so it can be categorized as a Fun Tale of Obstacles Overcome rather than A Horrible Time. (It became that once we knew a plumber was coming. Hero of the story: the plumber.)
Wakanomori brought an Edo-period board game that he'd put together from images available online, and we played it. It's Genji Monogatari-themed: you march around the board and land on different chapters from the Tale of Genji, and each square comes with a poem--not from the Tale of Genji but from the makers of the game. Plus gorgeous ink paintings. Very aesthetic and allowed for a good review of the happenings of the story--or introduction to them, for several people present. (Not sure if anyone's read it from beginning to end. Maybe Wakanomori has.)
![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png){kind=small}
Look! I remembered to post before December started this year!
Hello, friends! It's about to be December again, and you know what that means: the fact I am posting this actually before December 1 means ![[staff profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user_staff.png)
karzilla reminded me about the existence of linear time again. Wait, no -- well, yes, but also -- okay, look, let me back up and start again: it's almost December, and that means it's time for our annual December holiday points bonus.
The standard explanation: For the entire month of December, all orders made in the Shop of points and paid time, either for you or as a gift for a friend, will have 10% of your completed cart total sent to you in points when you finish the transaction. For instance, if you buy an order of 12 months of paid time for $35 (350 points), you'll get 35 points when the order is complete, to use on a future purchase.
( The fine print and much more behind this cut! )
Thank you, in short, for being the best possible users any social media site could possibly ever hope for. I'm probably in danger of crossing the Sappiness Line if I haven't already, but you all make everything worth it.
On behalf of Mark, Jen, Robby, and our team of awesome volunteers, and to each and every one of you, whether you've been with us on this wild ride since the beginning or just signed up last week, I'm wishing you all a very happy set of end-of-year holidays, whichever ones you celebrate, and hoping for all of you that your 2026 is full of kindness, determination, empathy, and a hell of a lot more luck than we've all had lately. Let's go.
karzilla reminded me about the existence of linear time again. Wait, no -- well, yes, but also -- okay, look, let me back up and start again: it's almost December, and that means it's time for our annual December holiday points bonus.The standard explanation: For the entire month of December, all orders made in the Shop of points and paid time, either for you or as a gift for a friend, will have 10% of your completed cart total sent to you in points when you finish the transaction. For instance, if you buy an order of 12 months of paid time for $35 (350 points), you'll get 35 points when the order is complete, to use on a future purchase.
( The fine print and much more behind this cut! )Thank you, in short, for being the best possible users any social media site could possibly ever hope for. I'm probably in danger of crossing the Sappiness Line if I haven't already, but you all make everything worth it.
On behalf of Mark, Jen, Robby, and our team of awesome volunteers, and to each and every one of you, whether you've been with us on this wild ride since the beginning or just signed up last week, I'm wishing you all a very happy set of end-of-year holidays, whichever ones you celebrate, and hoping for all of you that your 2026 is full of kindness, determination, empathy, and a hell of a lot more luck than we've all had lately. Let's go.
Kate (julian) wrote2025-11-27 08:47 pm
julian) wrote2025-11-27 08:47 pmWelp!
This is a Long Post because I have Thoughts, but the short version is, "Hey, my mom had a stroke, and isn't just sedated to the gills! Though she is that, too."
Less telegraphic version: My mom (who just turned 86!) has progressed, in her dementia, from anxious and logical to anxious and tangential, in both technical and non-technical senses. That is to say, to people who don't know her, it seems as if she says basically random stuff, whereas to people who know her, it's clear she's saying stuff that has connections in her brain but she doesn't seem to recognize that she needs to provide the connective tissue to make it explicable to people outside herself.
Mostly, up until now, if she's not tired, she's quite audible and quite understandable. When tired, she gets a little blurry, but not *very*. (Also, and this is irrelevant except for med issues, she gets delusions. All of which are quite harmless, so far, and seem to mostly involve expecting visitors for dinner and the like. My dad says there's like, consistent expectations/background to this, and things.)
She and my dad are both very wary of assisted living and don't want anything to do with it, in part because of a friend of theirs who they felt had basically been stuck into a facility by her daughter. (Mind you, this friend had dementia and kept falling down, so, warranted.)
My mom's also wandering, or, rather, taking walks and then getting lost in her own neighborhood, which isn't *quite* the same thing, but kind of similar. One can ask why my dad lets her do that, to which the answer is, he sometimes needs to pay a bill or something and she gets impatient. She otherwise seems to not have many interests -- she's not reading much (or, I suppose, able to read), she's not watching movies, she's not... doing things. Other than taking walks.
So the point is, yesterday, she was taking her third walk of the day, alone, and someone called 911 because she was apparently walking in the middle of High St, aka, a very busy street with a *lot* of rush hour traffic. (When I heard this I had an actual chill run down my actual spine. Things that happen in real life! Who knew!) A police officer stopped by, and she was apparently combative and/or belligerent, so he brought her to the hospital. (The same one I volunteered at when I was a teenager, let us timewarp now.) It seemed odd to me that since she was *registered* as a wanderer, he'd take her to the hospital rather than home, but there's a few possibilities, some of which are stroke-related, some of which are dementia-related.
( More details about various visits. )
Anyway, so, clearly, what we need to do is get her into a rehab facility and get the support system set up for getting her back home, hopefully. We've got a "light housekeeping" person coming in starting about a week from now, and I can call some nursing folks her doctor recommended, so, we have Planz.
In more emotional aspects of stuff, this now starts another kind of slippery slope toward possibilities like pneumonia and other things. And I don't want my mom to *die*, but on the other hand she's been telling my dad she's unhappy and doesn't want to exist anymore (though doesn't have any kind of inclination to kill herself), so I mean. If this starts that faster downhill slope, I'll be *sad*, but I'm not going to cling if she's wanting to slowly go that direction. Just. I'll be sad. I *am* sad. Sadness is.
Less telegraphic version: My mom (who just turned 86!) has progressed, in her dementia, from anxious and logical to anxious and tangential, in both technical and non-technical senses. That is to say, to people who don't know her, it seems as if she says basically random stuff, whereas to people who know her, it's clear she's saying stuff that has connections in her brain but she doesn't seem to recognize that she needs to provide the connective tissue to make it explicable to people outside herself.
Mostly, up until now, if she's not tired, she's quite audible and quite understandable. When tired, she gets a little blurry, but not *very*. (Also, and this is irrelevant except for med issues, she gets delusions. All of which are quite harmless, so far, and seem to mostly involve expecting visitors for dinner and the like. My dad says there's like, consistent expectations/background to this, and things.)
She and my dad are both very wary of assisted living and don't want anything to do with it, in part because of a friend of theirs who they felt had basically been stuck into a facility by her daughter. (Mind you, this friend had dementia and kept falling down, so, warranted.)
My mom's also wandering, or, rather, taking walks and then getting lost in her own neighborhood, which isn't *quite* the same thing, but kind of similar. One can ask why my dad lets her do that, to which the answer is, he sometimes needs to pay a bill or something and she gets impatient. She otherwise seems to not have many interests -- she's not reading much (or, I suppose, able to read), she's not watching movies, she's not... doing things. Other than taking walks.
So the point is, yesterday, she was taking her third walk of the day, alone, and someone called 911 because she was apparently walking in the middle of High St, aka, a very busy street with a *lot* of rush hour traffic. (When I heard this I had an actual chill run down my actual spine. Things that happen in real life! Who knew!) A police officer stopped by, and she was apparently combative and/or belligerent, so he brought her to the hospital. (The same one I volunteered at when I was a teenager, let us timewarp now.) It seemed odd to me that since she was *registered* as a wanderer, he'd take her to the hospital rather than home, but there's a few possibilities, some of which are stroke-related, some of which are dementia-related.
( More details about various visits. )Anyway, so, clearly, what we need to do is get her into a rehab facility and get the support system set up for getting her back home, hopefully. We've got a "light housekeeping" person coming in starting about a week from now, and I can call some nursing folks her doctor recommended, so, we have Planz.
In more emotional aspects of stuff, this now starts another kind of slippery slope toward possibilities like pneumonia and other things. And I don't want my mom to *die*, but on the other hand she's been telling my dad she's unhappy and doesn't want to exist anymore (though doesn't have any kind of inclination to kill herself), so I mean. If this starts that faster downhill slope, I'll be *sad*, but I'm not going to cling if she's wanting to slowly go that direction. Just. I'll be sad. I *am* sad. Sadness is.
minoanmiss (minoanmiss) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
agonyaunt2025-11-26 11:54 am
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2025-11-26 11:54 amEntry tags:
Ask a Manager: 2. My husband’s boss wants him to hire the boss’s girlfriend
This one was recently reposted but unfortunately I can't find the post. ( Read more... )
( Read more... )
marthawells (marthawells) wrote2025-11-25 10:55 am
marthawells) wrote2025-11-25 10:55 amEntry tags:
Interview and Update
Great interview about Murderbot:
Bifurcating Character with Incisive and Witty Inner Monologue: a Masterclass with ‘Murderbot’ Co-Showrunners Paul Weitz and Spirit Awards Winner Chris Weitz
Since SecUnits issued by the Corporation Rim (a group of mega-corporations ruling the galaxy in the distant future) are sentient, complete obedience to human orders is guaranteed by the “governor module” in each unit. However, Murderbot (Alexander Skarsgård, who nabbed an Emmy for his intricate and chilling performance in the HBO series, Big Little Lies), figures out how to disable its module to gain autonomy. “Murderbot is sentient from the get-go — it’s basically a slavery narrative. It’s important to Martha that Murderbot was always sentient,” Chris says of the close collaboration with consulting producer, Wells. “All the SecUnits are under human control. They can think for themselves but can’t act for themselves. So, they experience this torture of being at the disposal of others.” In addition to exploring themes of humanity and free will, the series also calls into question the issue of personhood, as Paul notes: “To what degree are we going to grant personhood to non-human intelligence?”
https://www.filmindependent.org/blog/bifurcating-character-with-incisive-and-witty-inner-monologue-a-masterclass-with-murderbot-co-showrunners-paul-weitz-and-spirit-awards-winner-chris-weitz/
***
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things after basically three weeks of travel in October, catching up on household stuff, trying to get ready for the holidays, getting back into working on the current book. I think I was more mentally exhausted than physically, but it was still a lot.
I didn't stay more than a day in any one city (except for two nights in Allentown, PA, which was lovely) and I was mostly leaving before most of the hotels started to serve breakfast, so I was living on a lot of airplane food. I did get to ride the train for the first time in the US (the Acela Amtrack) which was fun. I've ridden trains in Sweden, the Netherlands, and Scotland, but never here.
There was a lot of emotional overwhelm, seeing so many people, but also it felt really good, because they were all people who cared about books and art and creativity. The smallest crowd was in New York, about 40-50 people, the largest was in Seattle with around 300. The Texas Book Festival in Austin was like an encapsulation of the whole trip, being in a giant crowd of people (the largest in the festival's 30 year history) who were all "books, books, books!" I've heard that people seemed to be going to more arts-related events lately, and that was what I saw on my trip.
Bifurcating Character with Incisive and Witty Inner Monologue: a Masterclass with ‘Murderbot’ Co-Showrunners Paul Weitz and Spirit Awards Winner Chris Weitz
Since SecUnits issued by the Corporation Rim (a group of mega-corporations ruling the galaxy in the distant future) are sentient, complete obedience to human orders is guaranteed by the “governor module” in each unit. However, Murderbot (Alexander Skarsgård, who nabbed an Emmy for his intricate and chilling performance in the HBO series, Big Little Lies), figures out how to disable its module to gain autonomy. “Murderbot is sentient from the get-go — it’s basically a slavery narrative. It’s important to Martha that Murderbot was always sentient,” Chris says of the close collaboration with consulting producer, Wells. “All the SecUnits are under human control. They can think for themselves but can’t act for themselves. So, they experience this torture of being at the disposal of others.” In addition to exploring themes of humanity and free will, the series also calls into question the issue of personhood, as Paul notes: “To what degree are we going to grant personhood to non-human intelligence?”
https://www.filmindependent.org/blog/bifurcating-character-with-incisive-and-witty-inner-monologue-a-masterclass-with-murderbot-co-showrunners-paul-weitz-and-spirit-awards-winner-chris-weitz/
***
I'm trying to get back into the swing of things after basically three weeks of travel in October, catching up on household stuff, trying to get ready for the holidays, getting back into working on the current book. I think I was more mentally exhausted than physically, but it was still a lot.
I didn't stay more than a day in any one city (except for two nights in Allentown, PA, which was lovely) and I was mostly leaving before most of the hotels started to serve breakfast, so I was living on a lot of airplane food. I did get to ride the train for the first time in the US (the Acela Amtrack) which was fun. I've ridden trains in Sweden, the Netherlands, and Scotland, but never here.
There was a lot of emotional overwhelm, seeing so many people, but also it felt really good, because they were all people who cared about books and art and creativity. The smallest crowd was in New York, about 40-50 people, the largest was in Seattle with around 300. The Texas Book Festival in Austin was like an encapsulation of the whole trip, being in a giant crowd of people (the largest in the festival's 30 year history) who were all "books, books, books!" I've heard that people seemed to be going to more arts-related events lately, and that was what I saw on my trip.
